Expert Tips For Couples For Your First Night After Wedding
Here's a handbook for couples that can come handy to prepare for your first night after the wedding.
Photography: Rohan Shinde Photography & Films
Let's get this straight - the First wedding night is not equal to sex! Every bride and groom-to-be has a group of girlfriends, cousins, and other aunties who love giving tips for her first wedding night on ‘How to Seduce a Man’. This not only puts unwanted pressure on the bride to expect intercourse on the first night but also gives her the wrong impression that the first night has to be all about sex. While sex is a great way to bond physically, it is okay to spend the night bonding and enjoying getting close to each other instead. (especially after the hectic few days that you have had!)
Imagine the pin-drop silence of the after-hours: you two together in a closed room, feeling shy and unable to figure out how to move forward from here. Guess what? It is normal and happens with arranged marriages. Even if you have courted for some time, being alone in front of each other can still bring about awkwardness. So, another first-night tip for brides is not to feel embarrassed about the awkwardness. Let the natural flow of events on your wedding night unfold and bring you two closer.
Table of Content:
- Self-Care Tips for First Night
- Creating the Right Atmosphere
- Bonding with your Husband
- Intimacy Do’s and Don’ts
- Must-Know Health Tips
- FAQS about First Night
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Self-Care Tips for First Night
Caring for yourself is paramount to making your first night with your husband more memorable. Relax, pamper yourself, unwind and get ready to get cosy and cuddly. Here are a few self-care tips that will come in handy for a bride:
- Before you hit the bed, shower or soak in a bathtub to relax your nerves if time permits.
- Do your skincare to feel fresh and more confident.
- Pack up a night suit and a nice lingerie, but remember to select an outfit you will be comfortable and most confident in. Don't feel the pressure of looking raunchy or nervous and shy.
- Hydrate yourself, and drink lots of water. With all the endless days of celebrations and exhaustion, you won't realise that dehydration is the most common denominator that can make you feel more tired and dizzy in no time.
- Pack up a small medical kit for emergency purposes. Add sanitary pads/condoms to the kit.
- Pack lots of wipes, as they will come in handy to wipe out any liquids.
Creating the Right Atmosphere
Our favourite among first-night tips for brides is to create a romantic ambience in your bedroom to set the mood right. Dim the lights or illuminate the room with fragrant candles. Instead of doing it yourself, hire professionals to decorate your room for the first night. Play your favourite slow romantic music, give each other massages, and indulge in aphrodisiacs for a playful beginning to the wedding night. Minty and Prakash, a WeddingWire India couple, share, "We had been in a committed relationship for one year before we married. So, our first night after marriage was not the first time we were intimate with each other. But even then, there was a lot of excitement about it because this air of finality and accomplishment comes after the marriage. We had spent so many days going through ceremonies with the family that it felt like we had climbed Everest. Our wedding night romance was great!"
Bonding with your Husband
A wedding is a whole new experience for the couple. Whether you’ve had a love marriage or an arranged one, the journey of living together under one roof will be exhilarating and brand new for both of you. As another first night tip for Indian brides, we suggest you establish a stronger friendship and help each other on this new journey before diving deeper into romance and fantasies. It will not only help you two to communicate freely but will also help you to embrace romance smoothly, sans shyness. Among many first wedding night tips for brides, the most crucial tip is to speak your mind freely. If you feel uncomfortable about something, express it to your husband. If something is bothering you or you need assistance (like taking off your heavy bridal lehenga), ask your husband for help. As a result, you'll feel more at ease talking to your husband because he'll feel wanted.
Rahul, a WeddingWire India groom, had an arranged marriage. He shares, "We did not have enough time to get to know each other, so we were nervous on the first night after marriage. Kalpana, my wife, was a little tearful also as she had cried a lot during the Bidaai. When I took her hand in mine that night, she looked very anxious, so we spent the night talking to each other. We discussed our favourite movies and even had a mini-argument about SRK vs Salman Khan!! Such conversation starters helped us on our marriage first night. Talking helped us become friends. We shared just a kiss before sleeping, but it was one of the best nights we’ve had."
Intimacy Do’s and Don’ts
Especially if you have had an arranged marriage and haven’t been physically close to each other earlier, for virgins, the first-time experience can be painful, but that is not the case for everyone. So the best way to indulge in first-time sex after the wedding is to take deep breaths, relax, and not focus on getting the big O immediately. The First Night Tips for Brides guidebook says that focusing on foreplay can make third base less painful and more enjoyable. Start with cuddles and kisses for the night!
Must-Know Health Tips
When the awkwardness is sidelined, things can heat up quickly. Giving in to the temptation of not using contraception is a big no-no if you don’t wish to get into family planning right away. Don’t go by the recommendations of your friends and family. Instead, visit your gynaecologist to discuss various types of contraceptives and finalize the one that will work best for you.
- Use an intimate wash to clean your intimate area so that you smell fresh and clean down there.
- Wear fresh lingerie. You don't want your husband peeling smelly and sweaty pants off of you while getting intimate.
- Instead of lipstick, opt for a tinted lip balm or gloss.
- Keep lube on the side because all the nervousness can lead to dryness, and if you decide to take things to third base, the dry friction can be painful.
- Apply body lotion to make your body smooth and irresistible to your husband.
- Avoid applying perfumes onto your skin that might give a bitter taste to your husband upon kissing your body.
WeddingWire India bride, Pari confessed, "I am very traditional, and even though Ishaan and I had been dating for 2 years, we decided to save the deed for marriage. So, of course, we approached it with much anticipation and excitement. We were both mentally and emotionally ready, and it was great. His friends pushed him into the room laughing, and we shared a glass of milk. The rest is history because I conceived our son on that night! It was awesome!"
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FAQS about First Night
While we have covered all the crucial information that will be helpful for a bride-to-be, a few commonly asked questions often pop up in a bride's mind while prepping for the most romantic night of her life. Answering just that, here's what the experts have to say about first night tips for a bride:
1. What should the bride pack for the first night?
We suggest you pack a separate bag of essentials for the first night so you won't have to rummage through your excess luggage to find the smallest things. Zip up a box of essential medicines for stomach issues, headache medicines, ORS for hydration, intimate wash, bandages, and wet wipes. A pack of condoms, lube and prescribed after-morning or birth control pills in case you don't wish to get pregnant soon. Some energy bars will come to the rescue in case you feel hungry. Two fresh undergarments, bathrobes, hand towels, night suit and skincare essentials are next. Don't forget your dental kit and maybe a mouthwash or mints!
2. How can a bride make the first move?
Honestly, there's no handbook on how to do it right. Rather, focus on just going with the flow. Once you have created a more relaxed environment for the two of you, you can either indulge in small talk or start by touching his hand, smiling, or simply looking into his eyes to see where it goes. You can even start by talking about how great the wedding was, lightening up the mood, feeling free with each other, and then sliding your arms around him for a hug or a cuddle.
And if you are feeling naughty and confident, you can even surprise him by wearing sexy lingerie and doing your 'Ta-da' moment, catching him off-guard and turning up the heat in the bedroom almost instantly!
3. What kind of conversations should happen before sex?
Rather than making it a serious conversation for both of you, maybe take it lightly and start your conversation with flirting, kissing and cuddling. And while you are cuddling, talk about your turn-ons and turn-offs in the sex department. Talk about your boundaries and what you'd like your husband to do to you. Maybe add code words for when you want something, wish for more, wish for less of something, or want something you are not enjoying. Establish that taking things slow is the key to enjoying sex to the fullest and just going with the flow. Keep communicating between the acts, look into each other's eyes and decipher what works for you both and what doesn't.
Remember that it is not necessary to try every sex position. Sexual intimacy between a couple should be a journey, exploring something new each time and enjoying it to the fullest.
Whether you take tips for the first wedding night for a bride in Hindi or first night tips for an Indian bride of any state or culture, they will all point in the same direction. Sex is not the most important thing for the first night; speak your mind, feel comfortable with each other, and establish friendly communication as the ideal foundation of a beautiful married life. But most importantly, express your love, cherish these moments, and let things happen naturally, one night at a time.
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