Love, Laughter, and a Lifetime of Teasing: 37 Funny Wishes for Married Couples

Image Credit: Pinterest

Aaj Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai moment is as real as it can get! From being a Sarbala to your best mate and giving them a push as they sit on the Ghodi, friends are all we have and need in life for that extra something - for this journey, we call life all the more special! As we keep growing up, each of our friends finds their 'IT' person - somewhat like Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety and we know that your exclusive friendship will cease to be just that! that is not always the case, and there are ways in which you can ensure that Sonu and Titu stay together - ALWAYS!

Often, words fall short, and you will be at a loss as to how to convey how happy you are for them. If you are in a tough spot like that and can't seem to put your feelings into words, these funny wishes for newly married couples will help you right up.

In this article:

• Funny Marriage Wishes for Friends 
• Funny Quotes for Married Couples
• Funny Marriage Wishes in Hindi 

Funny Marriage Wishes for Friends

Is it time to bring your A-game and deliver a best man's speech or write a funny marriage wish for your friends in that wedding greeting card? Fret you not, because we have you covered with amazing and fun marriage wish quotes to choose from! Send them rolling on the floor after the few hectic days they have had with this bunch of wishes! 

• Congratulations! Now you're one - one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
• You got together like two beans in a pod! Joy forever!
• An ideal wife is any woman with an ideal husband!
• I knew you two were in love but didn’t think you’d be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.
• No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.
• Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match. I wish you the very best of everything, anyway.
• You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always. Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead. Congratulations!
• Your laughter will be dead; Your rejoicing will be nullified. There will be just one voice at home now: your wife’s. Happy married life!
• Well, now it’s the beginning of the end for you. No more beers or nights out with the guys, but at least you have a loving wife. Congrats!
• The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive, while stupidity comes free of cost. Congratulations on being expensively stupid.
• I guess you two were madly in love with each other. From now on, it would just be madness—happy married life.
• Getting married is a two-way street – do all you can to avoid head-on collisions. A life loved is precious.
• Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will just be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes for your wedding.
• What do fun with the boys, out on the town, and partying have in common? Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck.
• From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — Are you sure you want to do this?
• Like a well-constructed house, this marriage is built to last. Think of jewellery on birthdays as your insurance.
• Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.

Funny Quotes for Married Couples

Couples wanting to add humour to their lives, especially on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, take the safe route and quote a famous person. The legends have left some really funny quotes about marriage for you to draw inspiration for your speech. You can always end the speech with a "he said it, not me" *wink. 

• "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." – Will Ferrell
• "My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." – Henny Youngman
• "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." – Henny Youngman
• "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." – Groucho Marx
• "Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops." – Anonymous
• "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade." – Anonymous
• "The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once." – Ogden Nash
• "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife." – Prince Philip
• "My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met." – Rodney Dangerfield
• "An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." – Agatha Christie

Funny Marriage Wishes in Hindi 

Here are some funny wishes and quotes written on marriage and for married couples in Hindi. Check out these unique wishes and add them to your greeting card, Instagram caption or speech to add humour to your content. 

• "Apko aakhirkaar koi aisa vyakti mil gaya hai jo aapke ajeebogareeb chutkulon ko samajhta hai. unhen hamesha sambhaal kar rakhana!"
• "Kisi dost ki shaadi se bura kuchh nahin hota. Ab, mere maata-pita ke paas mujhe shaadi ke lie manaane ka ek aur karan hai. Badhai ho."
• "Shaadi ke vichaar ko kabhi bhi nazarandaaz na karen. Zaroor, koi aapko bata sakaa hai ki shaadi sirf ek kaagaz ka tukada hai. Khair, paisa bhi to aisa hi hai!"
• "Mafia se zyaada khatarnaak hoti hain patniya! Mafia ya to aapka paisa chahta hai ya aapki jaan... patniya dono chahti hain!"
• “Hamaari shaadi achchhe ya bure ke lie hui thi. Mai isse behtar nahin kar sakta the, aur ye isse bhi bura nahin kar sakti thi.”
• “Meri sabse shaandaar upalabdhi meri patni ko mujhse shaadi karane ke lie manane ki kshamta thi.”
• "Jab koi aadmi bina kisi karan ke apne patni ke liye phool laata hai, to waha zarur ek karan hota hai."
• "Kya aap jaante hain ki un logon ke liye ek naam hai jo har samay har cheez mein galat hote hain... Pati!"
• "Ek rishte mein ek aadmi ke paas ek vikalp hai: ya to aap sahi ho sakte hain ya aap khush ho sakte hain."
• “Hum hamesha haath pakadte hain. Agar main jaane doon, to woh khareedari karne lagti hai.”