First Month Guide for a New Couple Who Just Tied the Knot

Maybe you have known each other for a long time or maybe its been a whirlwind romance, irrespective you are now married and eager to start a life together. Once the pomp and exhaustion of the wedding are over, as a new couple, a new home and life await. Here’s the interesting part – as a new couple you will also make new discoveries about each other.

1. Space

In the first month, depending upon whether you are living alone or in a joint family, you discover the concept of shared space. As a new couple you realise that henceforth, barring the space your own body occupies, all other physical spaces will need to be shared. The bed, the bathroom, the dressing table, maybe even some accessories or personal care products in these spaces, you are now in the sharing game. So learn to invite and welcome the significant half into your personal and physical space.

2. New labels

You might need some time to get used to being called ‘husband-wife’. If you happen to change your surname or add on his, then getting used to Mrs….is another adjustment. Just when you are getting used to that, you need to provide new labels or ways of addressing your mother-in-law, father-in-law etc. Every new couple will need time and practice the new ways of addressing others and the way they are addressed.

3. Honeymoon

The new couple may make the entire first month the honeymoon time if they are so lucky. But usually, with work commitments and limited paid holidays, only a specific time is available. Make the most of the honeymoon well, because good things can become even better once home! So use the honeymoon to get used to your status as a new couple, set new foundations so that when you come home, there is an everlasting honeymoon.

4. Home alone

If you have been living together well then being home together should not be a discovery. But if you haven’t, then be ready to discover some new things about each other. The new couple discovers new TV viewing routines, how to share the remote, kitchen and bathroom do’s and don’ts and of course where to keep shoes, wet towels, laundry etc. All very exciting, no? At least the first month allows the new couple to set boundaries, what happens to them is fodder for another article!

5. Dividing chores

How do you politely and lovingly tell your beloved that the house he so painstakingly rented has dripping taps which you just cannot abide? As a new couple, you may need to belabour through the list of chores and see how to divide them, depending on interest, time and effort. Also, important to decide when to do them – getting up at 3 am to noisily drill a hole just cause you couldn’t sleep, will be a tad problematic. Now you do have to consider another human being living with you!

6. Food and beverages

“You drink coffee I take tea, my dear, I like my toast done on one side” – crooned Sting in his song – ‘I am an Englishman in New York’ – these words could describe the two of you to the hilt. So prepare to buy variety in hot beverages, cold beverages, vegetarian and non-vegetarian ingredients, different types of bread and biscuits…the list is endless. Important to know each other’s food tastes and buy common ones, leaving the personal favourites as occasional treats if you want to live within a budget.

7. Sleep schedules

This is possibly one of the tougher ones to adjust to in the first one month. If you miraculously both fall asleep at the same time, well then you are a lucky exception. A new couple will discover different time zones and the clincher is how to adjust the bedroom lighting so both schedules can be addressed. Focus lights, side lamps, reading bulbs – innovate and improvise unless you want to face a cranky spouse every morning.

8. Work schedules

A common scenario – both are working but may have different routes and different timings. If you share a car then pick and drop arrangements and timings need to be coordinated – whether to the office or a metro station etc. Try to plan your mornings so that there are less stress and a peaceful exit from home.

As the first-month winds down, you will still be discovering more and more idiosyncrasies as a new couple. Who likes to sleep which side of the bed, which song does he hum while showering, how long does she take to dress, Netflix or Amazon Prime, and so on…Relax, it’s just the first month, even lifetimes are not enough to completely know your partner. Create a relaxed and loving atmosphere, open to discovering the new in each other and you are home.

So what new thing did you discover about him today?